Dependent

What a day! One of my friends had a baby yesterday so I went to visit her and the new baby after work tonight.

Oh how I just love holding a brand new baby and just letting them melt into my arms. There is just something about it, knowing that they are completely and utterly dependent on you and oh so relaxed just being near to you.

If you would’ve asked me to hold a newborn a year ago at this time I probably would’ve kindly declined then retreated behind closed doors somewhere trying to fight back tears and put on the facade that everything was just fine.

As crazy as it sounds, I’m thankful for the circumstances we have found ourselves in this past year and a half. (Definitely wouldn’t have said that a year ago at this time either!)  I am thankful because talking about our miscarriages has allowed me to be real with people. It’s allowed me to share my heart with other women and it’s help me grow in ways that I couldn’t have planned for.

They have made me thankful for the little things and it’s helped me realize that this life is not my own and it is so short. This life is NOT why I am living. I am living and laboring for the kingdom.

Like I’ve said before, this isn’t the path I would’ve taken in life if it were completely up to me, but it’s not up to me. So I will walk this path; I will walk it with grace, and I will walk it to just try to honor my Heavenly Father as best I can. I am trusting Him to lead me wherever he wants me to go (or stay) and am willing to listen and obey.

Just like that new baby, I want to be completely and utterly dependent on Him for all my needs, wants, and desires.

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