With many schools already started and ours starting just around the corner I decided to throw myself a little pity party the other day. I seriously was almost in tears at my desk. I have struggles, as I have written about before, and the enemy knows exactly where those nerves are so he can strike them at any time to try to make me fall.
This year is a big year for us as we have a kindergartener and she is growing up more and more every day, right before my eyes…or daycares eyes. And that’s where it hits me. Daycare. Over the years we have been so incredibly blessed by the two providers we have! They are amazing women and so good to the kids. The little friends that little miss has met at daycare are great and we’ve gotten to know some of their parents better too, simply by having our kids in the same daycare together…and the help of Facebook.
I just struggle. Growing up, I always pictured myself with three or four kids, all two-three years apart, and being a stay at home mom. Fast forward twenty five years, we have one beautiful little girl and I work full time. Never did I think that we would only have one child entering kindergarten. Never did I think I would miss some of her firsts because I was at work and the daycare provider would get to be the first one to see those firsts. The enemy tells me it’s not fair.All.The.Time. And I struggle with that.
Now, looking back, never did I think that we would live in small town, MN, with one child, and married to who I am! (No we’re not high school sweethearts but we did graduate together.) Never did I think we’d be part of a church plant in small town MN and so incredibly hungry and on fire for God that we’d be leading two bible studies and looking at other ministry opportunities within our community. Never did I think that I would have a blog and post about my very personal journey through miscarriage, virtually with the world. Never did I think that the Lord would use us in the capacity that He is.
Your life may not look like you thought it would look but there is a reason for it. Everywhere you go, everyone you meet, there is a reason for it. You may have an impact on someone and you may not know what that impact is until you get home someday.
Before I hit the “publish” button every time, I think about what will people think, what will people say about me and worry about the aftermath of me posting what I post. So far, THANKFULLY, I have only gotten positive feedback from people and am blessed by every single one of you who have encouraged me along the way.
We are where we are for a reason. Where you are may not look like what you thought it would but God has a plan for you. You may not be where He wants you to be quite yet, but follow His leading and you will get there. When you let Him, He will use you in a big way! I promise.