A Place in My Heart

I’ve started this several times now and thought “oh I shouldn’t post it”, “no it’s weird”, “no, I can’t do it” but today…today I have decided to step out and post it.  I don’t know why but I just feel like there’s more.

Derek and I have been trying to grow our family for about 6 1/2 years.  We have one beautiful little girl who is anxiously awaiting another sibling too!  After having several miscarriages and going through multiple tests to only find out things are normal with us, I have decided to put my trust in our maker’s hands and take a leap of faith.

Before our last miscarriage we asked God to make it clear to us what we were supposed to do.  Were we supposed to keep trying? Quit trying? Pursue other avenues?  After not getting pregnant for five months then getting a positive pregnancy test in the sixth month we thought, “this is it.”  “This is the one.”  “We’ve been spoken over that our quiver was not full and this is it.  This child was chosen by God to be our Rainbow Baby.”

A year later and adoption popping up every once in awhile and consuming my thoughts for different lengths of time, I began to pray that if that’s the route we’re supposed to go, that God clear the path and make the way for this to be possible.

I’ve heard the miraculous stories of people knowing the right people and hearing about a mother who was expecting but not in the position to care for the child.  I’ve always  thought that was so awesome and I want to be that person someday.  I want to step in and love that child with my whole heart, the same way I do Derek and Little Miss.

Dear Birth Mom,

First off, thank you so much for making this selfless decision for you and your child.  I love you for making this sacrifice and I love that you love your child so much that you are willing to do this.  I cannot imagine the emotions and fear that you are facing in this difficult time but I sincerely hope and pray for you to find peace through it all.

Derek and I are cautiously excited to welcome a new little one into our family.  We are well aware that if  God wants this to happen, it will, but only in His time.  We promise to love this little one, care for this new baby, and welcome this child into our family with open arms and hearts.  This baby is a twinkle in daddy’s eye right now and we will meet someday soon.  I cannot wait for that moment!

Little Miss is very excited to have a new sibling.  She always tells me that God will decide if we get to have a child here and He will decide if it’s a boy or girl.  She also knows that she has siblings in heaven, one of them a little sister named, Hope, and she will talk about her sister often.  She will welcome this new little one with excitement and will want to be the best little helper she can be.

Just coloring on a Saturday morning.
Just coloring on a Saturday morning.

There are definitely not shortages of hugs, kisses, and snuggles in our home.  Little Miss likes to snuggle almost every morning before we head out to work and school and Saturdays are her favorite days because they are “stay home days”!  Sundays come in a close second because we get to go to church and most Sundays have Bible Study where she gets to see all of her little friends!  In the summer, there are plenty of bike rides, trips to the park, and family vacations and the winter will be full of family snowmobile rides, fun indoor activities, and snuggles in front of the cozy fireplace!

"Reading" mom's bible
“Reading” mom’s bible

Not only Derek, Little Miss, and I will welcome this little peanut home, our families-who are all within an hour of us-will join us too.  They will be loved by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and great grandparents who are anxiously awaiting an announcement of our growing family!  Our church family will also be by our side for this journey!  The entire situation is covered in prayer and will be perfectly orchestrated by God and only to glorify Him.

Dying Easter Eggs
Dying Easter Eggs

I do want to acknowledge the pain you may feel though and I want you to know that we are praying for you.  Praying for comfort, strength, and peace knowing that you made the right decision.

Thank you.  I know those words will never be enough to express my unending gratitude to you, but it is all I can say for now.  Thank you.

With Love and Gratitude,

The Halls

I don’t even know what I’m doing or why I’m writing this.  People will probably think I’m crazy and losing my mind.  I’ve always prayed though that if we are supposed to adopt that God will just make it happen. So here’s a start…If it’s supposed to happen, God will make it happen. I have a place in my heart prepared.


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