Moving forward? Maybe? Last night as I was unpacking the clothes that Little Miss has outgrown and prepare them to sell on the garage sale I got to thinking…thinking was not so good. Seeing all of those clothes brings so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. There were times I couldn’t see what I was writing because the tears were in the way. Kind of like right now as I type this…
So often I’m frustrated about our journey. I’m frustrated that we’ve had to go through this so many times. I’m frustrated that my body won’t just work and carry a baby to term. I’m frustrated that the doctors have said
way too many times that there is nothing wrong with me or the baby. I’m frustrated that I’ve been “lapped” in the pregnancy world. I’m frustrated by the stupid people children who have to suffer for one reason or another. And I’m frustrated that there isn’t a better system for those children. I’m frustrated by abortion and when I hear about it.
But as I sit here writing this (I’ve totally changed what I was going to write by the way) and am writing this instead because it must be what I need to say – and tell myself – don’t be frustrated with the path the Lord has laid. Through this journey He has led me to some INCREDIBLY strong women and for that I’m thankful! Some of the darkest days I’ve been able to reach out to these women and be lifted up in prayer and encouraged by them. God has an incredible plan for these losses and I know He is orchestrating it to work out for His good. His plan is perfect.
The other day I had a completely random thought pop into my mind. I’m still praying about it and what it means, but He has a plan. The plan has to do with HALLways to Hope. Like I said, not sure what it will look like, but it will be something. Make plans for it.
So today, I am thankful. I am thankful that I can be folding these clothes and marking them with a price after being worn, some multiple times, and loved. I am thankful that Little Miss is outgrowing these clothes and healthy. I am thankful for the women who have been there for me and by my side – both literally or virtually – through this journey. I am thankful for the opportunity I get to pray for the sweet little girls who will wear these clothes next while I prepare them to be sold. I’m thankful for the hubs who puts up with my crazy emotions. And I am thankful for YOU who are reading this post and for your support. It’s hard for me to be thankful but it’s all about perspective, right? So today, I choose to have a positive one.
Just a few photos on how much your perspective can change things…